Part of it is due to jealousy. Why does she get to travel around the world to find herself and I’m stuck here, stagnant? Part of it is due to annoyance- she’s just so, so self centered. And then there’s the unenlightenment factor. I don’t find anything that she’s saying to be all that deep. But then again, maybe it’s just jealousy.
Then, sitting in my little New York apartment tucked in to a bubble bath, listening to Jack Johnson’s sound, I finally read something that spoke to me. It’s a conversation, between the current focus of Miss Gilbert’s affection and the author,
“I don’t think I’m ready for it,” I told him. “I don’t feel like going through all the effort of romance again, you know? I don’t feel like having to shave my legs every day or having to show my body to a new lover. And I don’t want to have to tell my life story all over again, or worry about birth control. Anyway, I’m not even sure I know how to do it anymore. I feel like I was more confident about sex and romance when I was sixteen than I am now.”
“Of course you were,” Felipe said. “You were young and stupid then. Only the young and stupid are confident about sex and romance. Do you think any of us know what we’re doing? Do you think there’s any way humans can love each other without complication? … Good luck. Because you still have a woman in front of you, my friend. And you are still a man. It’s still two human beings trying to get along, so it’s going to be become complicated, and love is always complicated. But still humans must try to love each other, darling. We must get our hearts broken sometimes. This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something.”