Acting, and growing up, without expectation

I usually only talk about what I’m wearing, or what I’m eating on this blog, but recently I’ve found myself thinking so much about a certain topic that it would feel weird not to open it up for discussion. What I’ve been fixating on, for lack of a better word, is growing up. And all my assumptions about what growing up is going to mean.

For the last couple of years, while my friends talk about their futures, getting married, having kids, where they’re going to send their kids to school, and moving out of the city I’ve sat on the sidelines, listening but hesitant to join in. What (I think) I’ve come to realize is that my nervousness is rooted in my expectations. Fearful that growing up isn’t going to turn out how I thought or hoped it was going to. That (shockingly) there may not be an Oscar for Best Screenplay, a best-selling cookbook, or a guy that looks like Matt Damon. Or worse yet, it could be boring.

The thing about acting with certain expectations in mind though, is that they could be the wrong ones. My friends don’t seem bored. They’re glowing, happy and excited. Which leads me to believe that maybe I should act, or not act, with less expectation and more faith. Belief that things will work out how they’re meant to.

Tell me, have you ever felt this way? Any advice?

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14 comments

  1. My mother always used to tell me when I was crushed by some boy who didn’t love me or I missed something that I really wanted more than anything. “Honey, Don’t expect anything and you won’t be disappointed. Rather, let the world surprise you. You will find the surprise far surpasses any expectation you ever had.”

  2. Sorry but life isn’t always meant to be fun. You take what it gives and either add to it and chose to be happy or let it get to you. Life is full of responsibilities and either taking them seriously or not. Being happy is strictly up to you. Taking action in a situation and is your choice as well. So I guess life is full of choices. Two of my sons set goals for themselves and always achieve what they are aiming for. They figure out what they want and how to get it. then they work towards those goals. I have two other sons that don’t know what they want out of life and just exist. They are now figuring out they are left behind because they don’t want to make the decision to move on and grow. It’s painful to see them get left behind but it’s their choice. So the choice is yours. To move on and grow or to stay where you are and get left behind. Faith is a choice as well. But first you must have a goal to step towards. What is it that God is leading you to? Only you know what he’s put on your heart. That should be your goal.

  3. This is very thoughtful. You will of course realize all of your dreams b/c you:
    1. Are very smart
    2. Have an excellent personality
    3. Are very beautiful
    4. Have a positive outlook on life and
    5. Have an adorable Nanna!

    With all of this going for you, you’re a sure winner in everyone’s book!

    • I agree with Lydia! Like she says, you are a great person who deserve’s the best, and will probabley get it b/c you have all of those thing’s she listed! Don’t worry about when it hapens b/c you will very likley have all of those things come naturally to you soon. The only thing is that I would have prefered some guy other then Matt Damon, but to each her own!

  4. I’ve been exactly where you are – and found myself married, in an incredible job, and living in NYC a mere 18 months later. Life can truly surprise you when you least expect it – learning to let go is the first step.

    I have no doubt that amazing things are in store for you.

  5. Lao Tzu is wrong. Asian religions and philosophies were designed basically for peasants who had no control over their lives, thus having no expectations was a good thing. The secret of happiness is not to want, because you can’t get it anyway.

    You, however, have choices, and the ability to make things happen. So ALWAYS act with realistic expectations.

  6. I try to always think positive, and even when I do not succeed at some thing, thing’s seem to work out OK. People already have said what I would have said, but I just want to add that you are a big part of everybody’s life who read’s this blog and we all want to see you happy all of the time, b/c we feel good after we read about you and the thing’s that you do. So just know that we are out here in the either cheering you on and looking forward to reading your posting about all the exciteing things that you are doing. Love, Ellen

  7. The unexpected and how we age is our expectations of living our lives no matter where, when or how. Its what you make of it that matters.

    • I agree with some of this. The thing to remeber is to enjoy life because it whizzes by to fast. When you find a guy to settle down with you do, have kids, move to the suburbs, become a soccer mom, drive a mini van, save for retirement and enjoy life. Trust me you will have all that!

  8. I’m a young professional in NYC, too. I took a calculated risk and moved here from the midwest four years ago with only a hint of a plan and no friends or family here to support me. Four years later I’ve had the best and worst times of my life, got engaged, and finally (recently) got the job I’ve been fighting for the last 4 years.

    In all of this I’ve found that expectation can actually be the worst thing for you. Goals, rather than expectations are the perfect catalyst for achieving the best life for yourself. You also have to understand that your best life may not look like the life you imagined. Open yourself up to experiences that teach you, get rid of toxic thoughts/friends/habits, focus on general goals and take constant positive steps to get there. If you want to write a cookbook start making the rounds at publishing networking events, start writing it on your own (you may be doing these things already of course 🙂 ) The point is, positive steps forward with no expectations aside from expecting you’ll do your best to make those steps will keep you motivated and sane.

    Keep your mind and heart open.
    Bethany
    lucky-fifth.blogspot.com

  9. Oh dear… Of course I have… You’re right, many times our expectations are not in tune with what the world has in store for us. At 3 points in my life I’ve found myself in a position of utter confusion, not understanding how it’s even possible that I have ended up so far from where I had planned to be by now!

    But you know what? I really do think that things happen for a reason… I never passed the first exam when applying to the best design university in Israel, and trust me- I was furious. My fury carried me all the way to NYC, getting me excepted to every single establishment I applied to and even winning a couple of scholarships on the way.

    But you know what’s the best part? 🙂 The man I love happened to go to the same school I ended up choosing… So maybe the world has a different, more interesting path for you, as you said – have faith…! (And keep looking fabulous while doing so 😉 )


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